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Television doesn’t want to admit it has those dreadful roach ads on anyway.

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

We, Norton I, do hereby decree that the offices of President, Vice President, and Speaker of the House of Representatives are, from and after this date, abolished.

Humor

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

Humor

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Humor

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

Humor

There is no one who would have me – I can’t cook.

Humor

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Humor

I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.

Humor

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