Quote Category

I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

I’m barely prolific and incredibly lazy.

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.

Sooner or later we’re all someone’s dog.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!

I never thought I’d land in pictures with a face like mine.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.