Quote Category

If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex!

I’ve got a lot of ham in me.

To Mr. Seward: It is my desire that, in case Maximillian will surrender, he be sent here a prisoner of war, but that in the event of his continuing the war, or refusing to surrender, then he be shot.

I’m too old-fashioned to use a computer. I’m too old-fashioned to use a quill.

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

True friends stab you in the front.

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

Fellow made me a $10 bet I couldn’t quit, and I haven’t had a drink since. At the time I needed the $10.

If you haven’t got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.