Quote Category

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.

I only direct in self-defense.

There’s nothing more erotic than a clean bill of health, my friend.

The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.

Ice-cream is exquisite – what a pity it isn’t illegal.

One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip quotations down people’s throats – and one always secretes too much jelly.

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

My dresses are for women of all different shapes and sizes. Actually, the one I tried on yesterday was the one Jennifer wore. And who’d have thought I’d be the same size as Jennifer Lopez!