Quote Category

The Crafty Cockney had a picture of the owner dressed up as a copper, so I brought it home, wore it on TV and the name just stuck.

I don’t know why you use a fancy French word like detente when there’s a good English phrase for it – cold war.

The Supreme Court of the United States is hereby commanded to try Andrew Johnson for usurpation of our Imperial authority and prerogatives, and if found guilty, behead him or send him here to black the Emperor’s boots.

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

I prefer to sing in the shower because the acoustics make you sound great, baby.

I’m stupid, I’m ugly, I’m dumb, I smell. Did I mention I’m stupid?

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.

We were the Spice Boys.

Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third.