Quote Category

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

When I write, I tend to twist my hair. Something for my small mind to do, I guess.

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.

There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke.

I’ll drink water. Sometimes tomato juice, which I like. Sometimes orange juice, which I like. I’ll drink different things. But the Coke or Pepsi boosts you up a little.

I have eyes like those of a dead pig.

I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.