One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I remember once having to stop performing when I thought an elderly man a few rows back from the front was actually going to die because he was laughing so hard.
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.
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