Quote Category

If you done it, it ain’t bragging.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.

Simon would not want to audition in front of Simon.

I go to my physical therapist to keep fighting it and one of them told me if you don’t use it, you lose it, but I know we’re on television so I won’t say what I would often say.

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion.

To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it!