Quote Category

Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.

But staying awake is not real exciting for people to watch.

Almost every venerable tradition at a men’s club starts out as a joke.

If I wrote a musical it wouldn’t be about me. Although I do some magic, so it would probably be about a magician who appeared and re-appeared all over the place.

I’ve played villains on stage – you know, the Iagos and so on – but I think of myself as a funny person. I mostly did comedies before I did TV work.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

On stage, we just want to generate hysteria. We don’t care about looking cool or posing.

I look like the kind of guy who has a bottle of beer in my hand.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.