Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.
A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.
I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can.
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
Good thing we’ve still got politics in Texas – finest form of free entertainment ever invented.
People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy… and I keep it in a jar on my desk.
This is the first convention of the space age – where a candidate can promise the moon and mean it.
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