Quote Category

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

I’d still like to see ‘Survivor’ minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business – I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else’s foot.

Humor

Imagine people calling you to find out if you’re dead. I’ve led a real crazy life at times, and I’ve had many strange things happen to me, but that was one of the strangest.

Humor

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Humor

Pretty Woman was the easiest job I’ve ever done. I just wore the right toupee.

Humor

Love ain’t nothing but sex misspelled.

Humor

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Humor

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

Humor