There’s a black man inside of me just trying to make bail.
Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It’s our only joke. Every woman knows that.
If you were to open up a baby’s head – and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should – you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It’s called living.
War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can’t smile, grin. If you can’t grin, keep out of the way till you can.
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