Quote Category

Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John.

The ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination.

I’d like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I’m gonna be on for an hour.

Life is a dead-end street.

No day of my life passes without someone saying the words ‘Monty Python’ to me. It’s not bad.

I’ve been bitten twice by snakes.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.

I talk to people who are musicians, and they go, Oh this is hell. And I go, Are you kidding me? You never put tar paper on a roof, did ya?

If I can’t see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?

I don’t really do pranks any more. I have a laugh in the dressing room here, where it’s safe, and the guys don’t go to the papers and tell them what I’ve done.