Quote Category

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting.

You can’t trample infidels when you’re a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.

Bacon’s not the only thing that’s cured by hanging from a string.

A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

It is the mark of a truly intelligent person to be moved by statistics.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man’s superiority to all that befalls him.

A good folly is worth what you pay for it.

The first time my father saw me in the flesh was on the stage, which is a bit weird. We went out to dinner, and he was charming and sweet, but I did all the talking.