Quote Category

Writing a novel without being asked seems a bit like having a baby when you have nowhere to live.

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

We further decree that the Senate of the United States elect a prominent Democrat as their presiding officer, to act as President until the next election, and to reconstruct the Cabinet according to our wishes hereafter to be declared.

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.

It has always been my private conviction that any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it… I can resist everything but temptation.