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Humor

You know George M. Steinbrenner III is the center of all evil in the universe.

Humor

Everybody got it wrong. I said I was into porn again, not born again.

Humor

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Humor

There are practical little things in housekeeping which no man really understands.

Humor

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Humor

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales.

Humor

So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda.

Humor

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Humor

I remain just one thing, and one thing only, and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.

Humor

I bet Maurice Gibb’s heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin’ Alive.

Humor

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