Quote Tag

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

There is no one who would have me – I can’t cook.

I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.

Never laugh at those who suffer; suffer sometimes those who laugh.

Well, between Scotch and nothin’, I suppose I’d take Scotch. It’s the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground.

I do wish I could tell you my age but it’s impossible. It keeps changing all the time.