Quote Tag

My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.

I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

The Crafty Cockney had a picture of the owner dressed up as a copper, so I brought it home, wore it on TV and the name just stuck.

I don’t know why you use a fancy French word like detente when there’s a good English phrase for it – cold war.

The Supreme Court of the United States is hereby commanded to try Andrew Johnson for usurpation of our Imperial authority and prerogatives, and if found guilty, behead him or send him here to black the Emperor’s boots.

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.