Quote Tag

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Though I weigh only 120 pounds, when I’m mad, I weigh a ton.

My family would be supportive if I said I wanted to be a Martian, wear only banana skins, make love to ashtrays, and eat tree bark.

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny.

I don’t mind that I’m fat. You still get the same money.

There’s a shortage of perfects breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

Right now I’m pretty single… My career is my boyfriend.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

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