Quote Tag

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own.

Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

The only time to be positive you’re not wrong is when you’re dead.

I know you have been under a great deal of stress, but I do hope you are managing to keep your sense of humor.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

I realize that I’m generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don’t care.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.