Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.
Pointless… like giving caviar to an elephant.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
I am the Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico.
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
I hate women because they always know where things are.
Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it.
Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
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