Quote Tag

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others’ discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it’s funny.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.

A woman is a woman, and a man is a man, but when it comes to humor, no one is quite so funny as a woman.

General consultant to mankind.

I never let them cough. They wouldn’t dare.

It’s like the brooding hen sitting over a china egg.

“No matter how bad you sing, sing for her…. she’ll smile”

The trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

I’ve tried to reduce profanity but I reduced so much profanity when writing the book that I’m afraid not much could come out. Perhaps we will have to consider it simply as a profane book and hope that the next book will be less profane or perhaps more sacred.