Quote Tag

A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

I have nothing to declare except my genuis.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.

I’m the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren’t no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn’t know about them.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.