Quote Tag

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

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I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that.

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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.

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The problem with the designated driver programme, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At then end of the night drop them off at the wrong house.

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Time is bunk.

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Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

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Sometimes I thank God… for cheeseburgers.

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Roller-skating and ice-skating are two different things – I found that out the hard way.

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If my forgeries looked as bad as the CBS documents, it would have been ‘Catch Me In Two Days’.

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