Quote Tag

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

One sits the whole day at the desk and appetite is standing next to me. “Away with you,” I say. But Comrade Appetite does not budge from the spot.

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

As soon as you set foot on a yacht you belong to some man, not to yourself, and you die of boredom.

In the Netherlands I read the first chapter of Exquisite Corpse to an audience that laughed in all the places I thought were funny – an experience I’ve never had in America!

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.