Quote Tag

A drink a day keeps the shrink away.

I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.

Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.

‘Escargot’ is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm’.

What’s David’s role? David looks good, that’s what David does. David looks good, and I’m the funny one, that’s what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade.

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.

There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping.