Quote Tag

I’ve always believed in writing without a collaborator, because where two people are writing the same book, each believes he gets all the worry and only half the royalties.

The hardest thing for me is not to keep laughing. Jennifer particularly is like a clown.

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

Humor is laughing at what you haven’t got when you ought to have it.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

The Holy Roman Empire is neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire.

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

I’m half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I’d be in a hell of a mess!