Quote Tag

I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can.

Charlie Sheen is who again? Denise is engaged?

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

Good thing we’ve still got politics in Texas – finest form of free entertainment ever invented.

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy… and I keep it in a jar on my desk.

This is the first convention of the space age – where a candidate can promise the moon and mean it.

To be hated cordially, is only a left-handed compliment.

It’s a funny old world.

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.