Quote Tag

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

There’s a black man inside of me just trying to make bail.

Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It’s our only joke. Every woman knows that.

If you were to open up a baby’s head – and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should – you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.

Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.

The guys have told me not to quit my day job.

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It’s called living.

Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.