Quote Tag

At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.

If you can’t change a Girl… change the Girl.

Good morning, let the stress begin

I covered my face because they had taken my wisdom teeth out.

Yes, I’m going to be the President of the United States. You know why? You think you can get chicks by being in the movies? You can really get chicks by being the President.

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.